iwtwutyfem


I want to wake up to your face every morning

Until then, I'll just write about you =)


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Taking stock...
iwtwutyfem
So...
I'm in Love with my best friend...best/hardest thing in my life...doing my best to keep separate; my Love from my being in Love with him.

What's on the plate?

B, finally got out of jail yesterday...happy as all heck!  He'll be in Seattle for almost 2 more months (house arrest), then back home (Cali) for a couple months before he heads off to Hong Kong =(  At least we have a road trip in the works =)  I'm going to Love spending some quality time with him.  We always have fun, but road trips add so much to a friendship, and we're very close as it is...can't wait!
WOW...he just called me as I'm writing this...Love him to death!!!

Punk...we'll that hot mess is on the DL...I guess he got pissed at me last time we hung out and I told him that he shouldn't still be with his two-timing bf.  He deserves more, he deserves better...well, whatev...I'm sure he'll call or text me back when he's ready.

Rocker - He's still writing good music, now also has a bf, so I'm happy for him.  Such a good guy...he deserves someone.  I haven't met the new bf, but we'll have lunch soon I'm sure =)  I cant wait to see the final of his new cd...he still calls me and sings his new songs to me from home, at practice or in the studio...he cracks me up...lol

Jock - Damn, such a hottie...he now has a gf but whatever...I saw a pic of her last time we hung out, she is really pretty I'll admit.  Damn, I know we weren't relationship compatible, but damn, maybe in a few years.  So I'll let her keep him occupied till he's ready...lol j/k

Driver - Sweetheart but next time we hang out, I'm going to level with him.  He's just not that guy.  We'll remain friends, but I know that he's just not the one.  He's too selfish for my taste.  I am selfish about things (my time mostly) but I am VERY selfless in every other way.  But I notice that he wants what he wants...to have me, but he doesn't consider what I need or what's good for me.  He always looks at things from and for his perspective.  He wants good for me, but he's blind.  Not looking forward to it, but it has to be done.

Who's new and worth writing about...hmmmm?

Pilot - We had a great time when I went up to SF...what time we were able to have considering the weather and his schedule.  School and work are kicking his ass so bad right now.  Won't be able to see him till May when he's on break.  I can't even go up for a day trip because his days off work are filled with school and HW.  But well see.

Dancer - Oh what a great guy...great heart!  Very compassionate, Loving and sweet!  We like each other, but I don't think he's mature enough yet...I know he's not mature enough yet!  But damn...very sexy.  When I think about him, I do smile, but I know he needs a few more years.  Can't wait to hang out with him again...we had so much fun last time.  But I have to remember to chill on the Sangrias...damn.

Scholar - New and exciting...and he's a smarty pants.  Environmental Science is his gig and he downplays his smartiness but humble is good =)  Another hard at work guy with so much on his plate.  But we text, chat and phone whenever we can.  I Love how he sends random texts from class or the library...so funny.  We set like an hour or so to talk, but it always goes longer...I do apologize, but it's just never enough time.

River - New and interesting.  He says he's shy, but he doesn't act like it sometimes.  I like him because he's good, asks great questions, and is very attentive.  He tries to come up with new things to do when we hang out...like I do with Authentic...man the two of us (Authnentic & I) are a fierce combination.  Okay, back to River...only drawback is I think he's too young also.  He thinks smart, but not in all areas when it comes to dating and relating.  Still good to have as a friend either way =)

Karate Kid - Wow, this guy is really cool...Tae Quon Do Black belt and wrestler...amazing face and body...omg!  We're fairly new to each other (just under a month) but we get along great!  It crazy how much texting, xbox, and phone calling we get in despite our schedules...but we seem to find it!  I like how he is, he's bold, he's a take charge kinda guy.  In most of my friendships, I am that guy and I Love being that guy.  But with him, it's pretty cool.  As much as I want friends as a start from the beginning of anything...he makes no apologies in his approach with me.  He definitely wants more.  This is going to be interesting =)

I am going to stop looking for the one or new friends for that matter.  I need to focus on being better, being more Loving and finding my happiness in that Love, in a way that I haven't before. School is so important, going back to astronomy as a hobby (actually I got Authentic into it also), I need to get back to studying Love (I've been obsessed since 7), I need to read more from the Dalai Lama, read more from/about Gandhi, and finish that book by Pope Benedict.


-Jim

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Where are you taking your road trip? I've always wanted to do one with friends, but none of us drive! Just don't need to in this city.


The Dali Lama may depress you on his views of homosexuality and sex in general. His message is sugar coated sometimes for "householders" but the judgement is critical of people who do not wish to conquer their desire for love.

I'm impressed. I have only met 2 men in this time. Shacked up (failed) with one and am dating slowly the next.
Hugs



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